I'm BACK!!

and i'm still a jackass...

i was trying to get some sleep before i actually left for back home. i even though i had made good time b/c in my frantic rush to see if i needed to get a new bag i packed all my stuff two days before i left. pretty good huh? and i found i didn't!! yay! anyways so i kinda just chilled my last day. i kinda went out to get some money b/c i knew that my luggage was going to cost me extra, but it was a saturday so the bank was closed. and then i went to go eat my last meal at reata, the place that we've been going to for the past couple of months. dude, you get a whole meal (including the main dish, miso soup, and various pickeled vegetables) for 550 yen (which equals about $4/5, good huh?). but since i went by myself, i sat with these other people in the restaurant. at first is was a bit awkward, but then we started talking and i kinda busted a little bit of japanese and we were all friends. it was cool. then i went back and tried to get some rest. basically i didn't and so at about 2am, i got up from my bed, checked my bags again and took a shower. after getting ready, i talked to larnie and just shot the shit with her and she caught me up to all of the things that were going on at home. like how my neigbor had died and some other stuff. kinda bummed me out, but i was going home! so i said bye and looked out the window. and to my shock, and i don't even know why i reacted this way, but i was all "HOLY SHIT, it's SNOWING!!" i started to panic a little bit. was my flight going to be canceled, how was i going to get home? did i have too much luggage? all of these questions started flooding my mind and i was basically having a panic attack. so i started to lug my 3 suitcases of stuff down the spiral staircase in the dohokan. i was in my slippers taking down 2 80lb bags, and i almost pulled a muscle, but everything made it safe. so at 3:30am, my shuttle service came and picked me up (my flight was at 7am and it needed to pick up somebody else).

i started talking to the driver and he was asking me where i was going and i was like, "back to america" and he was like, "i have relatives there" and i'm all "where" and he's all "new york" and i'm all "cool" so i go "do you go snowboarding?" and he's all "hai!" and i'm all "cool" and then i fell asleep. the snow as kinda nice and it wasn't snowing at the kansai airport so i felt a sigh of relief. anyways so i get to the kansai airport (by Renzo Piano, look it up, it's pretty cool) and i'm totally lost. i just woke up from my nap and after walking around for like 10 minutes and not seeing anybody in the airport, not even an information person , i start to totally freak. it was getting close to my flight and i didn't even know where i would have to board! so i was all telling myself to calm down and maybe if i go outside i'll see a sign to show me where to go. so i headed outside and after realizing that there wasn't anyother terminals i went back in, read another sign that said "domestic terminal: 3rd floor." i was actually going back to where i had landed (fukuoka) when i first arrived b/c that was there my flights were leaving from. sigh. but that wasn't the end of it. i went to go to the e-ticket machine, stuck in my atm card and it totally ate it!! as if things couldn't get worse. so i'm trying to stay calm and ask one of the flight attendants to help me. she totally opens the machine and takes out my card. whooo! and then i wipe the powis off of my forehead.

so the flight attendants can totally see that i'm stressing out and help me. i show them all my shit and they're really helpful. so i'm checking in my luggage and the flight attenedant at the counter is all telling me how i can save money by having the courier service take my bags to my destination for cheaper. and i'm all "are they going to get there when i get there?" and she like "no" and i'm all "well i'm going back to america today so i need my bags with me." (kinda busting attitude) and she's like "it'll take about two days" i'm all "i'm going back to america and i need to catch a connecting flight, i will pay for the extra baggage" and she's like "are you sure?" and i'm all "yes, i'll pay for it" so she scurries on and tells me how much i have to pay for the luggate that i'm hauling. it wasn't that bad. it was only about $200. which is fine. i thought i was going to have to pay about $500. but after getting my boarding pass and going through all of the security checks, i sit down and realize that i was such a totally and comple dick to this person that i didnt' even know. i guess kindnesstour: asian took a break for today...

so i board on my flight and say my first set of goodbyes to japan... i arrive in fukuoka on time but still need to get some cash. nothing is open so i walk around the airport with my million lbs. of luggage and explore the place a little bit. it looks pretty different in the light, as opposed to when i did see it at nighttime. so i'm waiting for the bank to open, and it does automatically, the security gates open and people rush in to use the atms. but i need to talk to a teller b/c i needed to exchanged my travelers checks for cash. so it never did open so i went back up to where my flight was going to leave and they basically tell me that i need to go to the other side of the airport. but thankfully i check in my baggage and tell me that it will arrive in la as planned. powis off of my brow... so i board my second flight and head to narita airport in tokyo. i think this time too i saw somebody throwing up. wait, i think that was in the karasuma-oike station back in kyoto. anyways but i think i did see someone throwing up. anyways so i get off of the plane and try to find my connecting flight, and one of the flight attendants basically says that i need to go on this bus to get to the other side of the airport. it's crazy so i'm rushing through and i still need to get some souvenirs and i ask her if i'm going to have time and she goes "maybe" and i'm like "great" but it's more important that i get on my plane then buy souvenirs. anyways so she's carrying one of my heavy bags and tells me where to go. something like this would never happen in america. a flight attendant who finds out where you have to go and carrys your bags. in la you'd probably get some bitchy lame-o who, with attitude says, "uh uh, you best go find yo'self a cart and take yo shit ova der! then you can ax somebody ova der... NEXT!"

so i board the flight, again, and it goes pretty smoothly. until this baby starts to cry and hitting the empty chair next to me. granted, it is an empty seat, but it's still connected to my seat so i can totally feel this kid, who is crying by the way too, kick the seat. so in my head, i was like "i'll give the kid a chance here and maybe he'll calm down." when that didn't happen, i siad to myself, i'll let the dad do it." that didn't happen. so finally i turn around, look at the kid and put my index finger to my mouth and go "shhh." that didn't work so i turn to te dad, and just give him a look and say "come on..." so the kid stops and i head back to sleep. but it's not over yet. i try to flag down a flight attendant to get a pen b/c all of my shit is in the over head compartment and the bitchy flight attenedant that i'm about to talk about was all "uh uh, don't open that, something might fall out and hit somebody!" and i was like i know! but fuck, there are like a million people doing it to and it's not like i was just going to open it all quickly and let shit fly out. what a bitch! anyways so i'm flaging down a flight attenedant and the bitchy one goes "i see you waving, but i'm not going to help you and hides in the food prep place. luckily, there was another flight attendant who apologized for that bitch and helped me out. anyways there was another bitchy flight attenedant, but whatever, don't need to spend my time on her.

after going through customs and another agricultural check (i didn't even bring any fruit!) i was ready to call my parents to tell them to pick me up. it's just easier to do it that way for our family. since culver city isn't that far, having to pay for parking just seems ridiculous. anyways so i got my back and to my surprise i saw my dad!!! it was one of the best things ever. it was so nice to see my dad! and totally gave him a hug and then i saw my mom and gave her a hug too. what a great way to land in la...



it's nice to be back...