madd case of the MUDDbutt

so why does being in a foreign country always involve some story about bowel movements? particularly the runity run runz!!!... it seems to happen to me everywhere. i know it definitely happened in france, at this mcdonalds with the worst bathroom ever!!! just imagine this... i was ready to leave france when my stomach starts making that bubbling, gurggling sound, and you know that 's not a good sign. so i head down this small and narrow stairway clad in that fake brick linoleum, but it's not really brick, it's more ike textured rectangular sponges made into a really cheap floor and wall covering. (anyways it's just horrible) and then at the bottom of the stairs i find this small ass mens bathroom, that totally reeks of urine and feces, and then finding out that the smell is actually coming from a toliet that has urine and feces all over it!!! so disgusting. and then having to go in that nastiness, b/c it's the only one. there was nothing that i could do... i had to go and i didn't have any imodium...


anyways i don't know what i ate today, or actually the last couple of days b/c my stomach has totally been acting up. have you seen that episode of sex and the city where charlotte and harry get food poisoning? and there is that part where their stomachs all gurggle? that's what my stomach has been sounding like for the past two days! good grief! i don't think i food poisoning (knock on wood) but something is definitely off... i'll have to call home and have my mom and dad send me more imodium and my blanket, and my electric toothbrush, and some sweaters. dude it's getting cold over here!


anyways there was this other time that i needed to go too! (i have way too many of these stories!) but it was at this japanese festival over here. i had been eating all day, a meat stick (yummy!!), a couple of cheese balls on a stick (kinda like donut holes but with cheese on the inside and way crispier), these fried balls with ikka (squid) in it, fries, a drink and to top it all off, ice cream wrapped in a crepe with whipped cream, chocolate sauce, a pretzel stick and topped with a cherry!! dude, it was all good, but obviously that didn't settle well in my stomach. so after holding it in and walking about a half a mile to the end of this festival, i booked in back with a friend to the bathroom. they didn't have the western toilets, so i had to do it in a HOVERCRAFT!! quite an interesting experience. you squat down with your genitals towards the little hood and then do your business. and when you flush, you basically have a mound of crap in front of you and water come from the opposite end of the hovercraft and it takes it down to the sewer! i guess you haven't really done japan unless you've hovercrafted! alright i don't think that i have any more stories like that, but i'll keep you posted on how my stomach is doing...


but i think the worst story i have about bowel movements is not even mine, it was a friend of mine who had total ANAL LEAKAGE on a bus with school mates on their way to a concert they were performing at. and i think the worst part about it, was not the uncomfortable feeling that something slimly is going down your leg, but the fact that a couple of girls who were standing next to him where like "what the fuck is that smell!!" horrible!!!